The Apparition Review

In my experience, cinematic wonders have rarely never come from the genre of the horror movie. In the case of The Apparition, even passably watchable is too much to ask, it would seem. From beginning to end, plot and premise to characters and acting, the entirety of this movie is a big ball of absolute crap that should have never left the cutting room mind of writer/director Todd Lincoln.

As the aptly named title would suggest, The Apparition is about not just a ghost or a demon, but an entity so horrifying that it apparently doesn’t have a name. The movie begins with a sequence that sets the tone for the entire movie- a bit of “real footage” for your viewing pleasure. Flash forward to a few years ago, when our main characters Ben (Sebastian Stan) and Patrick (Tom Felton) use home high-tech experimentation, hoping to prove scientifically that things from “the other side” really do exist. Their experiment not only proves that such things exist, but provoke an angry spirit/ghost/otherworldly being to come from beyond (where ever that is) and haunt the persons involved in the experiment.

A strange shift occurs, and we are suddenly transported to a southwestern region of the U.S., where we meet aspiring veterinarian Kelly (Ashley Greene) and her boyfriend Ben (the aforementioned). Their droll lives are filled with subpar jobs and visits to Costco, all whilst terribly force attempts at witty banter are (I’m assuming) meant to make the audience connect with their characters. Their recent move to Kelly’s parents “investment home” in an upstart neighborhood means getting used to a new place with no neighbors. Almost immediately, strange happenings being occurring, like – wait for it – the dresser moving an entire inch while Kelly puts laundry away. Scary, right? The plot fixates on the couple’s interaction with the apparition, then becomes an entirely different beast when it subjects the audience to a pathetic attempt of mind games.

Poor acting supplements an even poorer plot.  In all honesty, I think most of the audience could have imagined, written, filmed, and edited a better movie in the 82 minute film running-time; that’s the perspective that everyone should hold when considering how truly horrible this movie was.

Basically, this movie is several things – none of which include being a good movie. First, this movie is a total setback to the entire genre of psychological thrillers, horror movies, etc. Secondly, this movie is an illustration to filmmakers of what not to do when making a movie. Quite seriously, this movie was a horrendous mess, no matter which way you look at it.

If anything, this movie says to Todd Lincoln: “don’t, just don’t.” (make any more films, that is). While I understand most filmmakers have had their share of flunks, The Apparition is an embarrassment on a whole other level, when keeping in mind that horror films generally suck (don’t get me wrong, I like them, but typically they suck). And my friends, this one has the majority of those awful creations beat by miles.

I have seen some terrible movies in my time (most recently the god-awful Miley Cyrus flick LOL), but I must say that this movie is in the running for the worst film of the year. Please, I implore you, don’t see this movie. You will most certainly cringe, but I highly doubt it will be out of fear; rather, it will be for the fact that everything about this movie is frightening on a wholly different sucktastically awful level.

The Apparition – 2/10

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