Spring Movie Guide: June 2012 – Week One

Snow White and the Huntsman

Screenplay by Evan Daugherty and John Lee Hancock and Hossein Amini

Directed by Rupert Sanders

Starring Chris Hemsworth, Kristen Stewart , and Charlize Theron

“In a twist to the fairy tale, the Huntsman ordered to take Snow White into the woods to be killed winds up becoming her protector and mentor in a quest to vanquish the Evil Queen.”

A “gritty” retelling of the Snow White fairy tale, this one is a big studio release from Universal Pictures.  Evan Daugherty‘s original script was on the Black List a few years back, and after some time in development, they managed to cobble together a good cast, including two hot young actors.  This is the 3rd major film release starring Chris Hemsworth in as many months, with The Cabin in the Woods kicking things off, The Avengers sweeping box office records, and this feels mired in between everything else.

The studio doesn’t seem overly confident either, with limited advertising, mostly to the tween crowd, who may just not give a shit ab0ut the story.  However, they are still banking on the star power of Kristen Stewart and Chris Hemsworth who are famous because of their properties, not the other way around.  However, these new fairy tales seem to do well overseas, so that may be why Universal isn’t inundating us with advertising for the movie.  Only time will tell if it’s any good.


For Greater Glory

Screenplay by Michael Love

Directed by Dean Wright

Starring Andy Garcia and Eva Longoria

“A chronicle of the Cristeros War (1926-1929), which was touched off by a rebellion against the Mexican government’s attempt to secularize the country.”

A period drama starring Andy Garcia (who has arguably only gone downhill since his turn in The Godfather 3,  I guess people never trust you after you are seen getting incestuous) and the decreasingly popular Eva Longoria .  The film was partially financed by the Knights of Columbus, a Catholic brotherhood that had a lot of involvement in the actual Cristeros War, so I don’t know that this will be anything more than a romanticized reinterpretation of a brutally bloody war.

The film is rated R and is a mix of Spanish and English.  I guess I’m just not really sure who the audience is for this film, other than the steadily growing Hispanic population in the US.  Why this film is getting the 700 theater release it is getting is beyond me, but hey, it could turn out to be a surprise hit, you never know.  Doesn’t look like something we’ll be too interested in, but it’s one to keep an ear out for when reviews start hitting the net.

Piranha 3DD

Screenplay by Marcus Dunstan & Patrick Melton

Directed by John Gulager

“After the events at Lake Victoria, the pre-historic school of blood-thirsty piranhas make their way into a newly opened waterpark.”

John Gulager made his name as a fairly entertaining person on the first season of Project Greenlight, where he was awarded with the chance to make Feast.  The film did moderately well, well enough to warrant 2 back to back sequels that came out straight to video and didn’t do terrible in terms of rentals.

Now, he’s been handed the reigns of the batshit-insane sequel to Piranha 3D, a summer hit in 2010, and he’s cranked everything up to the next level.  The tits, the ridiculous cameos, and the off-brand humor of violence and weirdness is all on display in the red band trailer for the film (see below) where we meet the shotgun-legged Ving Rhames and the wise cracking “real life” David Hasselhoff along with a quick glimpse at the decreasingly sane Gary Busey.  With a cast like that, tits, and violence, how wrong can Gulager really go?  My biggest complain about Feast 2 and 3 was the lack of an interesting story, and too much time between kills, but it looks like those problems might not be present in this film.  We shall see shortly, although the film only opens in major cities this weekend, so keep an eye out for this one if it does well.

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