Welcome back to the world of Katherine Heigl! Today’s show will be about Heigl’s character being a recent divorcee in need of money, so she becomes a bounty hunter and has to capture her ex-boyfriend for the sum of $500,000. Hmm, sounds similar to that Aniston/Butler movie. Don’t worry; Heigl brings a lot of sassiness and insincerity to her role as she tackles another romantic comedy to put under her belt. Strap in because this one will surely be One for the Money! Well, just one for YOUR money.
Now that I am done being a sarcastic ass for a sentence or two, I can give you some insight on what I consider to be “just another Katherine Heigl movie”.
Stephanie Plum (Katherine Heigl) has had a rough last couple months. She is recently divorced and she lost her job selling lingerie at Macy’s. Her family suggests she tries asking for a job at her cousin Vinnie’s (Patrick Fischler) bail bonds business. She goes in expecting to get a paper-filing job, but ends up volunteering to turn in people who skipped their payments. The reward: ten percent of the bounty.
Stephanie’s first assignment is her ex-boyfriend Tony Morelli (Jason O’Mara), who is a cop wanted for murder. Steph takes this one personal as he was the one she lost her V-card to, and he never called back. With a little bad blood in between, Steph tries to hunt down Morelli for 10% of half a million.
It doesn’t take much time as she finds him right away, but she can’t physically take him in herself. So instead they end up playing tricks on each other and flirting all along the way as they run into each other over and over again throughout the movie with no initiative to try and finish the job. Though the time it takes to bring Morelli in may be just enough time for him to try to prove his innocence.
The movie has quite a few pointless characters. First off, whoever the girl is whom Heigl is constantly chatting on the phone with. I don’t remember the character getting a formal introduction or even her name mentioned. She does nothing for the movie but listen to Heigl explain her reasoning’s. One would think you could get better use of the already pointless narration throughout the movie besides stating: “this is where my parents live; that’s my mom, she worry’s too much”.
Another pointless character would be the grandmother. Debbie Reynolds plays the snappy and hip grandmother that everyone questions the mental state of. She is annoying and not once is she needed besides being a character solely for laughs. At least Melissa McCarthy’s character in Bridesmaids was funny and actually had a purpose. Reynolds is just doing an awful Betty White impression.
One more unwelcomed actor is John Leguizamo, who sits quiet the whole movie and comes in at the end trying to be the big bad guy. What? Not on my watch, John. Go back to your Ice Age voice work and give us a damn sequel to The Pest (anyone?).
The person who annoyed me the most though was the lead lady, Katherine Heigl herself. I won’t lie, I don’t mind a few of her movies, but she bothered me in One for the Money. The main problem was her accent. She had an awful Jersey accent (or maybe it was good and everyone from Jersey is fucking annoying) that I could not stand. She plays a girly girl who is learning the ways of bounty hunting and miraculously unfolds a crime.
The entire movie was boring. Flat out. Its comedy elements did nothing. It merely gave you the same regurgitated jokes you have heard a million times and tweaked none of them. Everyone was sassy but no one was funny. Well, I will admit I did chuckle at the old nudist man airing out “the boys”. Everything else that was supposed to be funny wasn’t. I know, you’re saying: “But Wilson, what about the romance?” in which I reply: “Fuck you; what romance?” There wasn’t any sort of romance. Sure, there was mild flirting, but they wanted to focus more on this uninteresting crime that was unfolding. YAWN!
One for the Money is uninteresting and very forgettable. There is nothing that stands out from it. Katherine Heigl delivers an annoying performance that would be better if she didn’t have that damn accent.
Mediocrity Shit in its smelliest form. Bleh.
One for the Money – 4/10