Grown Ups 2 Review

Grown-Ups-2-Poster

In 2010, Adam Sandler and the Happy Madison crew thought it’d be a good idea to make a movie about four friends and their families and a week out at their cabin. What ensued was 40 year old men ogling barely legal girls, making fart jokes, living in the past, and Rob Schneider. The movie was lighthearted, but when it comes down to it, it’s the same ol shit we’ve always seen from the HM crew. Come three years later, things have not changed.

Grown Ups 2 reprises 4 of the 5 main characters (Rob Schneider was smart enough to make up an excuse) as they have settled back in to their hometown. Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, and David Spade play their respective character that I am too lazy to look up the names for because who cares.

If you were expecting a plot, get out of here. Grown Ups 2 is a glorified hour and forty minutes of old friends goofing around with a light story just kind of thrown in there. Since you’re expecting some sort of synopsis, I’ll do my best to scrape something off the floor for you:

Sandler, James, Rock, and Spade all moved back to their hometown to settle down with their families; each character more seemingly richer than the next. Adam Sandler lives in a fucking mansion, yet it seems his character does nothing in his life. Where do I sign up?

It’s the last day of school and everybody is gearing up for summer. What better way to start your day than a buck taking a piss in your face? It seemed to resemble what I was getting into with the rest of this flick. Sandler sends the kids off to school by taking over bus driving duties from a drugged up Nick Swardson. Rock hops on board because he is a cable guy and he doesn’t do shit with his job. They later run in to James and he joins along for an impromptu trip to Kmart. At Kmart, the gang runs in to Spade who is buying a knife to protect himself from his illegitimate problem child who will probably kill him. So he joins along because these people apparently don’t have jobs where they have to do any sort of work.

Now that the gang is together, they just do more running around town for no reason. They bump in to a bunch of old friends and new foes from the likes of Shaq, Steve Buscemi, ALL of the Happy Madison regulars, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and a wild group of college kids led by Taylor MOTHERFUCKING Lautner. The movie concludes with a giant 80’s themed costume party that was set up at the last minute and EVERYBODY (I’m talking a couple hundred people) has well planned out costumes.

Grown Ups 2

Grown Ups 2 is an accumulation of as much lowbrow slapstick humor you can get for the price of a movie ticket. No form of human excretion is left untouched (vividly displayed by James’ “burpsnart”). Sandler proves that you can be reaching your mid 40’s and still act like a 13 year old. There’s nothing wrong with that. Thirteen year olds need movies to see too. I remember really enjoying a few Sandler flicks in my day. While some still hold up, others make me cringe.

It’s no surprise that I’m going to say that Taylor MOTHERFUCKING Lautner stole this movie. He epitomizes the amped up college bro with subtle hints towards a closeted homosexuality. While he did not take his shirt off in this movie, he does his fair share of karate warm ups and he flips and kicks all over the screen. It is actually kind of fun to see him in a silly role rather than his fantastic non-acting parts like Twilight and Abduction. It’s on par in hilarity, but for different reasons.

As for the rest of the cast, I can’t really say much. Salma Hayek’s breasts did an amazing job distracting you from anything else that she did. Kevin James is still pulling off the fat fart humor. David Spade is still the whimpy guy who has sex with a revolving door of women. Chris Rock is the whitest person in this movie and wonders why people aren’t afraid of the black guy who tucks his green polo in. Adam Sandler is the most mature, yet the most immature of them all. We saw this in the last Grown Ups, why do we need another round?

Grown Ups 2 isnt an awful movie, but it certainly is not good. As I said earlier, it’s the same ol shit. While there were points that were genuinely funny, but I can’t say this is anything new. It is certainly better than Jack and Jill if that is any sort of praise (hardly). Avoid this movie if you can. Unless you liked the first one, then proceed with caution.

Grown Ups 2 – 4/10

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